Being Forgiven by Alastair Dick

My Testimony today is about the blessing of being Forgiven 1) The Beginning.. Some time ago, when I last spoke to you, I mentioned that I was having a major life problem but I couldn’t share it with you at that time. Today I feel that it is time to share it with you ………… 2) A year and a half ago.. My world fell apart. My wife came to me and told me that she was leaving me. This was a big shock and totally unexpected; I had no idea that this was going to happen. I learnt later that she had warned our 2 daughters about her intentions just 2 days before she advised me. She must have been unhappy for a long time, but informing the daughters before informing me, caused massive communication problems with my youngest daughter. I did not realize or was sensitive to the many problems that came between us, and I did not have the chance to talk over our problems with her. 3) Our Family situation. I have two daughters, the eldest 23, lives with her boyfriend, for the past 3 years, in a very harmonious relationship. My youngest daughter, aged 21, left to live with her mother. This left me, by myself, an absent father to my daughters, also trying to keep the love and fatherly contact with my own children. My eldest daughter is the most understanding, and we have shared many a lovely evening meal both at her place and at what used to be the family home. But my youngest daughter, the one living with her mother, chose only to hear one side of the story, and did not allow me to have the normal father-daughter relationship that we once had. 4) The hurt to my feelings.. My communication with my youngest daughter, was at best polite, but not fulfilling and she seemed to be drifting away from me. This really hurt, as alone by myself in the family home are reminders all around me of what our family was once like: Can you imagine the tears in my heart as I pass by the “Growth markings “ on the window support where I mark the heights of the girls at their different ages, every time I cleaned the house or went to the bathroom? Can you imagine the hurt in my soul when every invitation to lunch or dinner, was politely refused, and in some instances never responded to. Can you imagine the hurt, when despite many offers of having a Family Celebration to commemorate her 21st birthday, that I was not allowed to attend any celebration of my daughters birthday? Can you imaging the hurt, when quite by accident, I passed my wife’s car, seeing both my daughters with her, and they all on the way to my daughter’s 21st celebration, and I am left out? Can you imagine the pain in my heart at loosing contact with my daughter? and the severe emotional pain seeing my youngest daughter withdraw from any association with me. Can you imagine,….. 5) The breakthrough . . I realized that healing and reconciliation to broken relationships would take time, perhaps even years to repair the damage done. But in my case, nothing seemed to be happening. It seemed that relationships had come to a standstill. 3 weeks ago, Pastor Chris touched on the topic of ‘forgiveness’ in his sermon, and it was also the topic of discussion in our Life group. The act of forgiveness” an interesting topic, but, Forgive you ask??? Why? What had I done??? Why forgive?? I had a long think about the processes of asking for forgiveness and how it might help me. BUT.. Do you know how difficult it was for me to even think about asking for forgiveness for something that would have seemed to be better coming from my daughter to me? Two Saturdays ago, I happened to be in the vicinity of my ex wife’s house, I called in on spec to see if my Daughter, was home, … She was….and came out onto the front porch to chat with me. I chitchatted with her about the responsibilities and difficulties of parent hood. There is NO manual for “How to be a mother or father”. There is NO “Dummies Guide” to the “Perfect Parent”. It was, and is, definitely, a “Learn as you go” process. The only guiding force might be that of your Parents or Grandparents, but in our case, both sets of Parents and Grandparents had long since passed on. I considered our parenting skills were excellent as both my ex wife and I had exceptional parents. In my conversation with my Daughter I explained that ALL of my efforts in parenting were to work as hard as I could to provide them all that they needed. I apologized to her that if my working 24*7 had left her in doubt of my love for her. I apologized for not always being there……. Then I ate humble pie, and quietly asked her to forgive me………… ……….. She replied….. “Yes Dad”….. We hugged…. 6) The reconciliation and relief Can you imagine the weight lifted from my heart??? Can you imagine the tears in my eyes as we stood on the porch?? Can you imagine,….. Can you??? I explained to my Daughter that if I could change the past I would, but as we had more control over the future, could we rebuild our relationship??……. she replied… “Yes Dad” We Hugged again. ………… Can you feel the feeling of belonging? When you hear those words,… “Yes Dad”? Those two simple words “forgive me”… have started a seemingly impossible father daughter relationship rebuilding. It will katake time, but it’s on the move in a positive direction. I thank the Pastor for his sermon on “Forgiveness” and I praise the Lord for giving me the strength and conviction and the opportunity to say “Forgive Me”? I will, with Gods help, rebuild the broken relationship with my youngest daughter. I praise the Lord! “Shangdi cifu ni ( God bless you)…. AMEN.